anarumi

Omgsh, its been almost 2 years since I have been active on this page.

Please add my facebook page: www.facebook.com/annarumiplays 
here is my twitch channel: www.twitch.tv/annarumi 
and I make videos often, watch me here!: www.youtube.com/GGgamertube

>_< Con is coming up so soon! I MUST FINISH ART!

Lots of chibis after I finish my business card

then I must make a Taskmaster drawing, Mugen drawing, league of legends and more to come in less than 19 days. *gasp

I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it I can do it


o_o


I CAN DO IT!

>_<*!!!!

I lost 5 lbs in one week. YES! Although, I have a goal to lose 10 lbs by next week. I wont be horribly unsatisfied if this doesn't happen, but I'm going to try. I will be replacing all my meals with high protein meal supplement drinks in which each serving contains 30% protein and 100% on 80% of my vitamins, so I will not have malnutrition, my diet is a form of ketosis, where if the body doesn't have carbohydrates for energy, it will start using fat for energy. This will be a safe way for me to lose weight. Also, if I do want to eat, it will be fruits and vegetables; however, I cannot eat past 5pm, SO, this will be one week of hard work.

Also, I've been waking up at 5-7am every single day drinking about 250 ml of my protein shake, plus while I work out in the morning, I drink 250ml of water; so, half of the water I need is consumed in the morning making it easier for me to finish my daily serving of water. This will reduce water retention and also getting on top of my shit before school.

Every morning I listen and watch a gratitude video to be grateful for everything I have, also I look in the mirror and smile. This brightens up my day. I've been listening to positive music like Nas - I can do it and 3Oh!3 - Chokechain because I got this shit on lock. ;D

I've finally finished my Morrigan picture, so now I have to finish 2 graphic design pieces by this weekend and start doing line art for Dizzy from Guilty Gear for a contest I'm doing with my friends by the end of the month. I got this shit on lock.

After, I plan to do some character concepts, but before that, I need to texture my tank in 3D as well as doing a fantasy level design. It will be easy as shit and fast. Just keep swimming.

So, here's the story.

My boyfriend and I are taking a break from each other for a month so that I can work on myself; this includes no communication whatsoever(we broke the rules on two occasions because we really missed each other lol).

HOWEVER, my plans are to work on my art; 4 projects completely polished with strategic time management (lol). I was supposed to draw a Morrigan (his favourite character) picture for him for our six month anniversary in November then I never finished it because I was slacking off with him, it was counteractive -_-. Instead, I made him a homecooked organic meal in a school girl outfit lol. But the picture was changed it to Christmas, but because of finals, I postponed it and I'm supposed to finish it today as a late Christmas present and give it to him AFTER our break. I bought him a ps2 for Christmas as a decoy present when his real presents are after this month break lol ^_^' He doesn't know that I am doing this, I've been upset with myself because I haven't finished it and felt like a bad girlfriend. So this will be settled >

The reason why I am doing this break is because I wasn't happy. I wasn't content. I was complaining about everything and worrying about others than myself. So, I did some looking within, reading my Positive Energy book, meditation and, well, I need to get my shit together. I felt unhappy with myself; and didn't have self worth. Because of that, I was negative about my relationship with my current boyfriend. I couldn't believe I ran into this amazing man that accepted me for me. Because of this, I looked into all the negative things about our relationship to prove that he didn't love me and got jealous of him and women because I felt like I didn't meet all my man's needs, but looking at everything, I realized, he did so many selfless acts for me and I was too blind to accept it and it really hurt him because he felt his acts went unnoticed. It saddens me thinking about it now. But my self worth lies within my self development. I fell apart slowly by the seams since I lost my job. I have been doing some research on self love; in the world of Psychology, Maslow's hierarchy of needs states the humanistic needs of people in society in order to feel contentment and happiness. It was quite interesting considering the chart was a pyramid table consisting of 5 stages. The first stage of needs that are needed to be met are the physiological needs (eat, sleep, sex, exercise). Next are security (security of shelter, security of body, security of clothes, employment, property, family). Love and belonging (friendship, family, sexual intimacy). Esteem (self-esteem, confidence, achievement, respect of others, respect by others). Self actualization (morality, creativity, problem solving, etc). Well, looking at these stages, I am a n00b.

So, I must work on these while I can. I have been applying to places online so hopefully I'll hear back. I used to work at Gamestop, sure it is a title worth bragging about, but I hated working there. It was so negative and I just couldn't take it anymore and a chain of events lead me to resign. But my friend is giving me a hookup at Walmart, all I need to do is apply in which I will do today, I could just stock shit and not deal with people. HOORAY. Hopefully, that will be settled. Also, my family and I aren't fantastic nor close. We never talk to each other about anything except when we need something. It's upsetting since I still live with my parents and I can see their disappointment everyday, we did used to be closer, but when I was a teenager, shit happened and I am realizing, love within everyone and everyone just wants to be loved and show love. Today, I made the effort to ask my mom if her and dad would like to see a movie or go out to eat on Sunday. We will see how that goes. I am making fantastic progress so far.

Also, I'm about to graduate this year and I realized that my portfolio isn't as comparable to others. This is a good thing, this is motivating me commit myself to art. I haven't encompassed myself around art until recently and I realized the difference between an amateur and professional is that most of your time is doing art instead of waiting for inspiration to hit you or when you're in the mood. I found out how to immerse myself to be "in the mood"; soul music, instrumentals, trance really gets me going spiritually. Music is a gateway to the soul. My spirituality was clogged because of all the negative stuff, all I need to do is a deep cleanse on my body and spiritually. I have been researching for coffee shops with live music so I can immerse myself to draw there. But for now, I'll just listen to music and draw lol. I am only going to become better with experience and if I'm not doing art, I'll never get better and it's the career path I have chosen. I am so grateful for the internet and the variety of resources that I am provided with. My potential is limitless because of these resources; there are tutorials about anything and everything. There is NO excuse why I can't get better. I've also been on Deviantart all day err day and have been so grateful to have found out about this site years ago. I adore all the favourites I have made and they inspire me all the time.

I am not sure what happened and why I became disconnected with art. I feel that my previous life style before I met my current boyfriend had taken the time away from me art and things I wanted to do, i.e. chillin, bgirling(sure it builds confidence, but it wasted my time. I am grateful to have the experience, but now I gotta get my shit into gear), and exboyfriend. It made me cold and negative although I tried to be positive. He would overanalyze things in negative light, and had such bad habits, and was unreliable and naive; I was consumed by his thoughts and its affecting my relationship now and I regret it with all of my heart. Don't get me wrong, not all was negative. I did grow as a person and open my eyes more, but I only did so because I was into it, and he looked more deeply, but not the way I would intend it. When I met my current boyfriend, he used to work out often and eat well and didn't drink alcohol as much. But when I met him with my new found freedom from my ex, I started drinking a lot.  I feel that I got him to drink often as well and it concerns me because he only has one kidney. I've tried to mention this to him without sounding like I was nagging. "Please treat your body well so you can live longer, I don't want to have to give you my organs", but he saw me as mom, sadly, which hurt me. He used to be super healthy which I had admired from him from the start, but I feel I have affected him so all I can do is act on my new ways of living for myself and perhaps it will reflect back because in my experience with relationships, your significant other is literally your significant other, your reflection, your connection. I just want the best for him, but I got to have the best for myself first. Since I've been alone for a week so far, I realized that life is meant for self development.  So, within this month, I am planning to be in the hyperbolic time chamber to immerse myself into art. My commitments were to get good at Ultimate Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 and art and exercise, but I realized I was spending way too much time away from my career path, so I am taking the game less seriously. I used to watch matches all the time and well, you can never seize time, just take advantage of it and so I am making changes to watch less YouTube videos. If I have time to watch matches, I should be practicing, but not as much as I used to. I will still play it occasionally with other players as a leisure activity, it builds my confidence and hand eye coordination, strategy, reflexes, but in all reality, it is just a game, sadly. And at this time in my life, I have to make other commitments.

Also, as I have mentioned about my negative previous life style, I gained tons of weight and it made me unhappy. I was so blind about it until I met my current boyfriend. One day, he just started grabbing my fat and although it was mean, it was a revelation. What was I doing with myself? My previous lifestyle has led me to this and I used to be so in shape. I am now doing something about it. My working out is consisting of Insanity workout program and a liver cleanse since I've treated my liver so poorly for months and it has affected my metabolism. I've been drinking protein shakes and fruits and vegetables all day err day, san, so that will help. I am making progress.

Positive changes I have made so far is reading my Positive Energy book, it has helped me a lot, I feel confident about the book because I did my research on it before investing my time into it, which I always do with anything. I am about to finish the book which I am excited about and about to move onto the Biology of Belief. I have also been meditating, reevaluating myself which concluded me to all of these revelations I have written here. Yes, I have done plenty of thinking. Also, writing my thoughts is also helping me evaluate myself visually, so I am grateful that Deviantart has a place to write journals so I will write in journals often to get to know myself more. I have been doing and planning some art, looking up tutorials, I made a website for my art: jacquelinevo.wix.com/jvostudios, I've also made my demo reel in which I will polish up as my 4 projects for the month, been on Deviantart every day, working out, eating healthy, I've changed to listening to a comedy radio station in order to lighten myself up; I used to be indifferent about comedy only because a lot of it is mockery and put downs, but there are always different styles and those will impact me the most; I also gave my ex all of his stuff back so that has helped me out a lot. I also watch positive videos -- there are two channels on youtube that inspire me the most which is taliajoy18 and bfvsgf. taliajoy18 is a vlogger, not just any vlogger, a 13 year old who is fighting two different types of cancer and is finding the positive things in life. It has really inspired me. BFVSGF are a couple vlogger who eat healthy, have their life on track, and love each other to death, but find the funnest ways to celebrate life and their love. I admire their togetherness and they often do pranks on each other, but still kiss each other and do things for each other every day. Yay for positivity.

I was sick for the first week so I was in my death bed, I am a week behind, but I have been making much progress so far. Although, I was sick for the first week, the week before I completely cleaned and organized my car. I did the same for my room and rearranged it because a cluttered room is a cluttered mind. I have made plenty of progress. One step at a time on the ladder to success.

Hello, I used to be ohemgeeejackiee

but I didn't like the DeviantID...


so I tried to find one that better suited me also to build a better and professional portfolio. XD


I will rewatch most of the people  that I contacted with and refavourite a select pieces that I absolutely adore.